Where do we start???  Relating is a part of everyday life, we do it all of the time and yet it can be the hardest work we do!  Relationships and the complexity of them demand a great deal of time and energy. Some of us feel like “we have to” or “it’s the right thing to do for…” or even “I should.”  I will provide you with skills that create manageable relationships, with limited or even no expectations, and to let go of resentments.  You can feel authentically yourself so that you can feel strong in your relationships. Learning about who you are and what is important to you, so that you are able to set appropriate boundaries.  Finding connection, purpose and meaning in your current and future relationships. Feeling more like “I get to” rather than “I ought to.”

I often work with mothers and fathers of addicts and alcoholics.  It is a very difficult place to be in – having a loved one who is flailing through life.  How do you cope? If you have read about the addiction disease model, then you already know that you are part of the problem.  Learning to have your own tool kit is essential in a loved one’s recovery journey. To be part of the solution is not easy but the tools are simple.  We cannot control the outcome for our beloveds but we can create harmony and resiliency for ourselves. The 12 step programs offer the idea of “attraction rather than promotion” and living with your own peace of mind can be attractive to those around you – including your addict.

Anxiety and depressive symptoms are often culprits of dysfunctional relationships.  Knowing your strengths and challenges will be essential in this journey. Let’s look at them – we can be fearless and take inventory.  You can decide what parts of you are helpful and what parts are no longer necessary. As humans we have two basic fears…that we will have something taken away and we won’t get what we need.  Many of us roll around in life with a tremendous amount of fear – so much of which is driving our relationships and even ruining simple interactions.  I will challenge you with kindness to look at your fears and examine their legitimacy. Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. I implore you to Face Everything and Receive.Now…what about other people and their problem!!!  The world can be harsh, disconnected, and confusing.  How can you make sense of it all? What is your part to play?  Why do you keep repeating the same patterns?  Where is my peace of mind? I say, let’s look at that and decide what you can control, what you can’t, what boundaries do you need to set, what creates a sense of connection for you and when do you just need to move on?  

Relationship work is tough but YOU CAN DO IT!

I utilize trauma-informed & mindfulness-based practices including: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Attachment Based Therapy, EMDR, Psychoanalytic Therapy, and Reality Therapy.     

Please refer to my Resources page for additional information!